Courageous QB Drew Lock joins Reserves

(COLUMBIA, Mo.)–“I’m no hero,” Drew Lock said as he pulled his hair back. “I’m doing what anybody in my position would do.”

It’s been only two weeks since Lock led the Missouri Tiger football team on a season-saving winning streak that put them in the December 27 Texas Bowl. Now, he’s taking a leap of uncommon courage.

“I really didn’t think he would do it,” said Mizzou student Denise Hampton. “He could go first round in the NFL, but he’s willing to put himself at risk like this. There’s a reason he’s my favorite quarterback. The man has guts.”

After closing out the season versus the Arkansas Razorbacks, Lock traveled immediately back to Columbia to enlist in the Terribly Bad Decision Reserves. Now, one weekend a month and two weeks a year, Lock ignores his potential future earnings and behaves as if he had nothing to lose.

“Last weekend we drank a pitcher of–what did you call it? Had powdered sugar in it?” Lock said turning to Hampton, a Willard, MO freshman in a CLock-Blocked Again t-shirt.

“New Melle Well Water!” Hampton said.

“Yeah, that,” Lock said. “Drank that, smoked a ton of weed out of some hollowed out deer antlers, and then did a couple hills.”

“Bumps,” Hampton said.

“Bumps. Damn it, I never get that right,” Lock confessed. “Anyway, then we got in a 1992 Ford Ranger and drove in the wrong lane up Highway 63 to Moberly singing American Pie the whole way.”

“He has a wonderful singing voice,” Hampton said.

“No clue what happened after that, but I’m told I did great for my first weekend,” Lock said.

“Oh, yes he did,” Hampton said.

Lock’s commitment with the TBD Reserves lasts until he’s either drafted by the NFL or incarcerated for more than seven days said Columbia-based recruiter Otis Busenhart. “We have high hopes for Private Lock,” he said. “He showed real promise in his initial training. I haven’t seen anyone funnel a six pack of Mickey’s Big Mouths like that since Larry Smith was the coach here. Lock could be a star.”

Lock said this isn’t the lifestyle he would have chosen for himself, but he knows it is expected of Mizzou standouts.

“Shane Ray was a darned champion,” Lock said. “If I could do as well as him, I’ll consider this a success. I’d take the DGB route if I had to. I’m just trying to avoid doing what Maty did. He got a taste of terribly bad decisions and decided to enlist for active duty. We lose a lot of good men that way.”

Lock’s next duty weekend isn’t until after the Texas Bowl, so he’s planning his bad decisions well in advance. He keeps a list in his locker for when he has ideas.

“In January, I’m thinking about something intravenous. Not sure what yet. I’m sort of an upper guy, so I’ll let that guide me,” Lock said. “Maybe some unprotected sex. Start a fight with a cop. I don’t know, man. The possibilities are endless.”

Lock’s two week commitment comes in April. He and Baker Mayfield are planning on going to New Orleans and then Thailand.

“I don’t know much about those cities, but Sgt. Busenhart says I should be able to excel there,” Lock said. “It’s great, too, because right after the trip, the NFL draft happens. I expect to be higher on a few more draft boards, especially if I Facebook Live from Thailand.”

Hampton said she is not yet booked for the overseas adventure, but that Lock told her she could come as long as she brought her two sisters.

“And ten grams of Molly,” Lock said.

“And the Molly,” Hampton said.

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